Week 4, Christmas Spirit and Week 5.

So, I can't imagine this to be that long of a post because well, I don't remember much of last weeks chemo so that's good! Means that nothing bad happened. Also, nothing bad happened today. Wahooo! However, my Christmas spirit hasn't been alive at all this year. I had put Christmas decorations up but kept slacking on putting up the tree. One day when I came home from work, Jordan had the tree up. It wasn't decorated, but it was up. Two nights later I decided to finally decorate it! Well 2.5 seconds into decorating, I started getting annoyed with the lights and gave up. It also didn't help that Jordan was playing video games and basically useless. After getting furious with that, and him, I decided to take down all of the decorations. They were all down within 15-20 minutes. The next day or two I took down the tree. I was hoping he'd surprise me and decorate the house again while I was at work or something. Well, he's a boy and boys suck so that didn't happen. This year it doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't know what is getting to me, but something is. I had to force myself to even do Christmas cards this year. I hope that once I start to wrap gifts, it'll finally hit so that way I'm not a Scrooge for Christmas.. cause well, no one really wants that. However, I'm not making any promises. Usually even just shopping for Christmas puts me in the Christmas mood.. and this year I didn't even want to do that. I would have been just find with giving everyone gift cards. Laaaame. So, basically.. let's pray that Angela becomes chipper within the next week.

Week 2, Thanksgiving, Week 3 and Some Fury.

So, its been a long week to say the least. Week 2 of chemo wasn't bad. No bad reactions. It was definitely a long day though. Got up at like 8am for chemo, and wasn't done with work until 10oclock. Chemo is supposed to be every Thursday but since Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday, we changed chemo to the day before. After getting out of work at 10, I had to go back to work the next day until 5 o'clock and then was able to finally go to my moms for Thanksgiving. By the time I got there, everyone was pretty much getting ready to leave, like usual. I helped mom clean up and then I started heading home myself. I waited for Jordan to get home from his dad's and then we just hung out. I needed to work the next day so I finally decided to get some sleep around 2am. My body, however, had different plans. I started getting really bad back pains due to dehydration (I pretty much NEVER drink water, or anything for that matter). I grabbed a bottle of water and tried to lay down. I started feeling nauseous so Jordan grabbed a garbage pail. Welllll, not even five minutes later, I was rushing to the bathroom. I called my mom and asked how she was doing.. she was feeling fine. Damn, I had food poisoning. Low and behold, my aunt, mom and cousin also got it. I needed to call into work the next day and was sick for almost 24 hours before I finally started getting better. 


Flash Forward to today, Thursday. I've started becoming a little bit more open with my mom. Even if I do find myself bawling my eyes out, which I NEVER wanted to do in front of my mother, it's been then just keeping it in and getting frustrated. I decided to tell her about a conversation I had with someone at the wedding (will be discussed later in the post).. and she was very welcoming to the idea. I definitely had a frustrating day though. By the time I got home (9pm), I had pretty much been going for 10-11 hours. All I wanted to do was make dinner, and when I opened up my freezer, Jordan had jammed a bunch of crap in there, and to make matters worse.. THERE WAS NO TORTELLINI! The main part of dinner! I literally just started bawling my eyes out right there. Jordan came running in and just held me. We sat in front of the fridge and I just cried. He said to forget dinner, we'll make it tomorrow. He said we'd just whip up some garlic bread and vegetables.. to which I replied, NOPE! I'm having ice cream! Thank goodness my boyfriend is so understanding! Oh, I also cancelled my gym membership today since I've had it for two months and still haven't used it once! Good thing Jen is so understanding with everything I've been going through! 


 So, back to this stupid wedding situation. Giulia's wedding was almost two weeks ago, and I think that's plenty of time to give someone to fulfill a favor. At the wedding, I went up to a certain someone in TEARS asking them to just call my mom and see how she was doing. I mentioned that I know he asks other people, but to PLEASE just call her himself. Being in tears, he agreed. I have him a week & a half. Today I finally decided to tell my mom about it, because well, I know he's not going to do it. How is it that a 50 something year old can't even call his own sister? His own blood! It makes me sick! How much of an ass can you really be?! Well, you know what?! I don't need you! And my mother doesn't need you! We are perfectly fine by ourselves with our family that actually cares! Don't you EVER dare tell me again that everything is my mother's fault. Also, don't ever DARE try to bring me in the middle of it. I don't like you. I said hello to you out of respect for my grandmother. YOUR MOTHER. Please take note that I will NEVER speak to you ever again. You mean NOTHING to me. And you never will again. Family is supposed to be forever. And to me, it seems like it means nothing to you.

Week One and Wedding.

So this week has definitely been a hectic one. Thursday, the 21st, was mom's first day at chemo. This is her third battle with chemo and it doesn't get any easier. Actually, this time is was harder because it was just like the first one. A little bit after starting it, she felt her tongue and lips tingling. We mentioned it to her nurse, so she stopped the medicine for a little bit. She then started it back up again, slowly. Her nurse decided to stay with her and keep an eye on her this time, and even noticed her starting to sweat and lose focus before my mom even realized it. Her nurse's name is Rachel, and she's definitely a God-send. She immediately stopped it and called the doctor over to check on her. They stopped for twenty minutes and gave her benadryl to lessen the allergic reaction. After they started her back up again, she was doing much better. 


Saturday afternoon we left for Pennsylvania for my cousin Giulia's wedding. Fifteen minutes into it, we got stuck into a huge snowstorm. We then got lost a little bit and my ezpass stopped working, then we got stuck in stand-still traffic. Our 4 1/2 hour trip turned into a 9 hour trip. But it was probably the best trip of my life. I'm so glad I had Jordan with me. Once we finally got there, we hung out for a bit, but definitely crashed.. quick, haha. On Sunday, the day of the wedding, was such a longgg day. Seeing everyone, was so incredibly great, for the most part. Some people I could've gone without seeing, but it is what it is. Whenever someone would come up to me and say hi or vice versa, the first thing was "Hey Angela, good to see you. How's your mom?". It was so great to see everyone actually care or at least pretend to, but after so many people asking about her, it got hard. I remember a certain moment when my little cousin Jack (and by little, I mean 6 foot and 18 years old) asked me how she was. He hugged me and told me to tell her that he's thinking of her. It was just so meaningful because we moved away when Jack was young. He hasn't been close to her and we've never been best friends, but he cared. Knowing even that little bit, meant so much.. enough to wear I almost broke down. I tried to avoid the subject of her being in chemo a lot, because we were in fact at a wedding. It was supposed to be a joyous time, not a time to dwell on things. But I knew that even if I talked about it, Giulia wouldn't mind. She is such a kind hearted person that she knew people would want to get updates on my mom. 


All in all, it was a great weekend. I'm so glad that I decided to go and see everyone. So this is the end of my first real post, so hopefully it wasn't too crappy.

Lets see how this goes.

So this is new to me and I don't really know what I'm doing.. so please bear with me. It's gonna suck, that's for sure. Don't hate on my blog please. It's mainly just so I can talk about everything that I'm dealing with during mom's chemo treatments and how I'm coping the rest of the time. It'll definitely be interesting to say the least. And by interesting, I mean this whole blogging thing.